Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
