I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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