Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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