I love watching others lives come down to our level.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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