I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
