He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
