I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
