I am full of burrito and curiosity
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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