Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
