Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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