Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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