Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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