i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
