The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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