Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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