the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
