You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
honey bunches of taint.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
