that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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