she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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