Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
