If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You brought string cheese to the strip club
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How does one acquire holy water?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
