he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
