erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
