Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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