Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
