i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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