whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
