He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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