Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
