She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
