My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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