people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You are the jesus of drinking
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
