What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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