you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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