You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
