Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
is it fun? or sober?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
