Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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