if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
