What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
