I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
