I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
