Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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