Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
