I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
