HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
