I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
