K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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