wat bout pragnant strippers??
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
