why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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