She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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